


Getting Munch-y with it

by Ye_Olde_Hedgehog



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, F/F, M/M, Some Talk About Homophobia, There is some accidental plot in all the fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, sorry about that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-11 16:00:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20156245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ye_Olde_Hedgehog/pseuds/Ye_Olde_Hedgehog
Summary: Eva has a crush. On Chris. (No, not that one - the girl one.) So she goes to her friends for advice.A very stupid choice...





	Getting Munch-y with it

**Author's Note:**

> I have forced a lot of innocent people to help me with this, so... here goes... 
> 
> Huge thanks to Skamskada for making this an Eva/Chris pairing to begin with - and also for pointing out that Isak was way out of character in that first draft. (And if any Norwegian gets war flashbacks because of the Hønsemannen reference, Immy's the one to blame for that one too, just saying...) 
> 
> Also - loads of thanks to TheGirlNoOneKnows5, koedder-du, and delightfulgiantwinnerathlete for some quick and dirty spag and hand holding.
> 
> And of course a HUUUUUUGE thank you to the very talented artist I was lucky enough to get to work with - Nevhada. I absolutely love your piece, it turned out so much better than I had dared hope for!! <3
> 
> (And to anyone brave enough to actually read this fic - my apologies. For everything.)

[Credit: Nevhada](https://nevhada.com/)

“Isak? Hey? Isak!”

Right, so... those PE lessons she’d been skipping lately? Terrible life choice right there, Eva concluded, as she huffed her way over to Isak, her thigh muscles already burning from the workout.

“Eva? Hi?” Isak took a small step backwards and held his hands up in an effort to protect himself when she threw her arms around him in greeting - and also to keep herself upright, because jeez, that had been a record breaking two hundred meter run, thank you very much.

“Going home?” she finally managed to wheeze out on her third attempt, continuing to hold on to Isak for support. 

“Even is making carbonara for dinner, so fuck _ yeah _ I’m going home!” 

Apparently Even’s carbonara was superior to any other carbonara - at least if Isak’s blissful expression was to be trusted. Eva’s face fell. Well, that was… not good? Not that she begrudged Isak his home cooked dinner, but it was a lot harder to invite yourself over when someone so obviously had his evening planned out.

“Oh. Of course,” she nodded, trying her best to hide her disappointment. “I was just…”

“Wanna come? Even always makes too much anyway. Although according to him, spaghetti multiplies when boiled.” Isak rolled his eyes in a ‘my boyfriend is an idiot and I love him very much a lot’ way. ”He claims it’s to do with quantum mechanics, which… I would love to ask our physics teacher about _that_ theory but I really don’t want to lose my six, you know.”

Right, or maybe not that hard, then. 

“Yeah, if it’s okay? It’s… I mean, there’s something I need to talk to you about. And Even. Talk to you and Even about.”

“Okay?” 

Eva ignored Isak’s suspiciously narrowed eyes, choosing to focus on her erratic breathing instead. Which by now was less exercise related and more panicked, because… she was really doing this, then? Yes. Yes, apparently she was. 

*****

“Honey, I’m home,” Isak called out as soon as he opened the door to his and Even’s flat.

“Kitchen!” Even yelled back, sounding surprisingly happy about the fact.

“Kitchen, huh? He really _ is _your househusband, isn’t he?” 

Eva’s smirk grew at Isak’s uncomfortable expression.

“Shut up. I’m a broke, starving student, he _ has _ to keep me fed and clothed, okay,” he muttered in reply, managing to look both embarrassed and fond at the same time. 

“Oh, but I’m sure your sugar daddy doesn’t care too much about the clothed part though,” Eva teased as she followed Isak through the small flat. “I’m sure the clothed part is mostly _optional_, right?”

“Hi,” Isak said, dismissing Eva in favour of wrapping his arms around Even’s waist, looking over Even’s shoulder to see what he was doing. “I brought Eva but feel free to ignore her, she’s being mean to me.”

Even placed a quick kiss to Isak’s temple before turning to smile at Eva.

“Hello, Eva, please don’t be mean to Isak.”

“But he makes it so easy,” she protested. 

Even’s eyes disappeared into small, happy crescents as his smile grew wider.

“Oh, I know _ that_, but the rule still stands. This kitchen is a being-mean-to-Isak free zone.”

Isak turned around from where he was all but melted against Even’s back and stuck his tongue out at Eva.

“So there!” he taunted.

Eva rolled her eyes.

“You’re not as cute as you think you are,” she countered.

Isak grinned at her.

“True. I’m as cute as Even thinks I am.”

Eva rolled her eyes again, harder this time.

“_No one _is as cute as Even thinks you are. We should probably talk to him about making an appointment with an optician, there must be something seriously wrong with his eyes.”

Isak pulled a face at her and turned back towards Even.

“See? Mean!” he complained into his boyfriend’s shoulder. “Please defend my honour.”

Eva caught Even’s eyes and they shared a conspiratorial grin.

“You have wronged my beloved, apologise now or prepare to meet thy death,” Even challenged, threatening Eva with an uncooked piece of spaghetti.

Eva quickly seized another piece of spaghetti to defend herself.

“My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die,” she challenged back, poking Even in the arm with the pasta.

Even let out an exaggerated groan.

“Alas, thou hast kill’d the sweetest innocence. And thus, with a kiss,” he gave Isak’s temple another quick kiss, “I die.” He collapsed gracefully against the sink.

“You two are _ weird_,” Isak complained as he too grabbed a piece of uncooked spaghetti, chewing at it as obnoxiously loud as he could.

“_You’re _ weird,” Even retorted as he turned around to pull Isak closer by his belt loops. “Also, food’s ready. You,” he pointed at Eva, “go sit at the table. And you,” he gave Isak a short but enthusiastic kiss, “Plates. Cutlery. Go fetch.”

Isak pouted up at him, clearly asking for another kiss, and Eva couldn’t help comparing this soft, happy version of Isak to the grumpy boy who used to third wheel her and Jonas’s dates that first year at Nissen. The Even effect, huh? It was… quite something. And also the reason she was there in the first place, so…

She took a deep breath to steady herself.

“Isak? How did you know you liked Even?”

Isak blinked and dropped the plate he was setting in front of her. They both looked down at it for a moment, checking it for damage, before looking back up to stare at each other, Isak somewhat flustered by the unexpected question.

“Uh, why... I mean… well, have you _ seen _Even…?” he finally managed, gesturing towards the kitchen. Eva looked over to where Even was leaning comfortably against the doorpost, holding a saucepan and giving them both a puzzled smile.

“Yeah, no, but... I mean… how did you know you liked _ boys_?”

Isak blushed.

“Um… that would be… umm… Jonas…?” he admitted sheepishly, refusing to meet her eyes. 

“Really? _ Jonas _ was your first crush?”

“I did have a thing for Hønsemannen when I was about five, but… yeah, Jonas.”

Hønsemannen? Right. Well, that was… no, Eva was _ not _going there.

“Yeah, your taste in men has definitely improved with age,” she decided.

“It has, hasn’t it?” Isak agreed, looking over at Even with a soft expression. “Anyway, is there a reason you’re asking?”

Eva hesitated, not quite sure what to say or how to phrase it.

“I… don’t think I’m completely heterosexual, maybe?”

There. She’d finally said it. Out loud. Her heart was beating hard as she sat back and looked between Isak and Even, anxiously awaiting their reaction.

Isak nodded calmly, handing her the pasta.

“Well, who is,” he smiled, eyes warm.

“Or, in the words of the legend that is Harry Styles, ‘We’re all a little bit gay, aren’t we’,” Even added with a small wink. Well... at least a wink was attempted...

Eva blinked. Yeah, so... _ that _was anticlimactic.

“Okay, so, Even has the _ worst _taste in music,” Isak complained with an eye roll - apparently an old argument executed on autopilot. “Anyway, welcome to the non straight side, I guess? I’m sure there are cookies. Or something.” He paused, eyeing her closely. “Seriously though, are you okay? I mean, I might not be great at it, but I’m here if you want to talk? Or... well, not talk?”

Eva reached up and pulled him into an awkward hug - all elbows, pasta, and affection - because… this non-reaction reaction? This was proof that nothing really had to change just because she’d admitted she also liked girls, right?

“Thanks,” she murmured quietly, the feeling of relief making her breathless. “I think I prefer ‘not’ right now, but… still, thanks.”

Isak nodded.

“Another time, then,” he offered. “Anyway, is there a particular reason to why you’re questioning your heterosexuality? And please tell me it isn’t Sana, because… you two teaming up? My life would be over.”

“No, it’s… umm… Chris?”

“Chris?”

“But… I mean, aren’t you two hooking up already?” Even chimed in, clearly confused.

“Also, the tiny detail of him not being a girl?” Isak gave Eva a hesitant look, “Or… I mean, I didn’t think… is he… umm… they…”

Eva stared blankly at Isak until she couldn’t control her giggles any longer.

“Oh my god, your _ face!_ Also, well done, you, on the woke part, but no, still very much a boy.” She tilted her head in thought, “Well, yeah, fuckboy, more like. Anyway, not that Chris. Girl Chris. You know, cute? Funny? Terrible taste in boys?”

“Heeeey,” Isak protested. 

“And does she feel the same about you?” Even asked, ignoring the dirty look his boyfriend was aiming at Eva.

“_I. Don’t. Knoooow,_” she groaned, putting her arms on the table and dropping her forehead onto them in an melodramatic sulk. “Sometimes I think… but then she just… so I… yeah.”

“Right. Very enlightening,” Isak commented and Eva threw a piece of bread at him.

“Be nice, I’m baring my soul here,” she complained. 

“Is that the same soul you sold to the devil in return for that Kardashian makeup stuff last month? You got it refunded, then?”

“Okay, first of all I really needed that lip kit. And second of all, it was my future firstborn I sold, not my soul,” Eva deadpanned. Isak raised a forkful of pasta at her, admitting defeat. “Anyway, I… don’t know, I just… Sometimes I think she’s flirting with me, but then she’s just… not? And I was kinda over her, sort of, and then today she mentioned this girl she’d hooked up with on Gran Canaria last summer, and then… I mean, suddenly there’s this possibility, you know? And now I don’t know if I should try, since… I mean, we’re friends, and what will happen with that if she isn’t interested, and…” she took a shaky breath and wiped away a small teardrop, not sure what that was about since she wasn’t even sad, just frustrated and a bit confused.

“Come here.” Isak pulled her into a messy half hug across the table. “You do know Chris is the luckiest person in the world to have a chance with you, right? And if she doesn’t get that, then… that’s her loss. You’re pretty, you’re smart, you’re the kindest person I know.” He paused and grinned at her, “You have these two _awesome _ friends…” Eva returned the grin, shoving at his shoulder, “And besides, you shouldn’t cry, this sauce is thin enough as it is.”

This time it was Even who shoved at Isak’s shoulder.

“There is _ nothing _ wrong with the sauce, thanks. But apart from that, Gordon Ramsey over there is right. I mean, if it wasn’t for my weakness for grumpy arseholes, I would be crushing on you _ so _hard right now.”

“Hey!” the grumpy arsehole objected.

“It’s the truth,” Even shrugged.

“Okay, fair enough. Anyway, what do the girls think? After all, they know Chris a lot better than we do,” Isak pointed out.

“I… haven’t talked to them about it? It’s not that I haven’t thought about doing it, but… you two are actually the first I’ve told. You know. About me.”

“We are? That’s… umm… thank you?” Isak said, surprised. “But you should maybe talk to Noora or someone, though. I mean, I’m shit at advice, and Even is...” he closed his eyes with a small headshake, “even worse.”

“I ended up getting _you_, didn’t I?” Even pouted.

“Paper towels, Even? Paper. Towels.”

“Point taken. Yeah, you should probably talk to Noora,” Even agreed, happy smile back in place.

“I guess, but... I just… I don’t know how to? I mean, what if it somehow changes our friendship? Not that I think she’s homophobic, or like… would stop being friends or something, it’s just… It’s easy not being homophobic in general, but… maybe it’s not as easy when it turns out one of your closest friends is bi? I don’t know, I… it’s just scary?”

“You do realise she lives with Eskild, right? If that isn’t a crash course in getting over any internalised homophobia, I don’t know what is. And you can definitely trust me on _ that_,” Isak reassured her with a rueful smile. “Just talk to her. It’s Noora. She’ll understand.”

“You think?”

Isak and Even exchanged a long look that Eva couldn’t interpret.

“Oh yes. I definitely think,” Isak assured her with a firm nod.

Eva nodded back. Tomorrow, then. She would talk to Noora tomorrow. But tonight she was going to enjoy the dinner, the company, and the fact that she was finally able to be herself.

*****

“Eva! My favourite child! Come give daddy a hug.”

“Eskild!! If you ever refer to yourself as ‘daddy’ where I can hear you _ ever _again, I swear I will throw out that stupid, overpriced shampoo that’s stinking up the bathroom,” Noora threatened from inside her room.

Eskild groaned, rolling his eyes at Eva in frustration.

“She’s grumpy because she isn’t getting laid,” he told her in a whisper loud enough to be heard by everyone at Kollektivet. And possibly the next door neighbour. “Please, for the love of Gucci, take her out and get her some dick. I’m _ begging _you.”

Right. Well, entering Kollektivet was always an interesting experience, Eva decided. She gave Eskild a quick hug before joining Noora in her room - closing the door on Eskild’s continued tirade on what he described as ’the beneficent effects of a good dick’. 

“Sorry about him, I’m his current project since Linn is away visiting her parents,” Noora sighed, looking up at Eva from where she was comfortably curled up in bed, laptop on her chest.

Eva tried to look sympathetic, but a suspiciously gleeful snort gave her away.

“Exactly how much dick are we talking here, anyway? Since apparently I’ve been elected dick provider of the month, I mean,” she asked smugly.

Noora glared at her.

“Very funny. Not,” she replied, unimpressed. “How about we talk about the dick in _ your _life instead, hm? Still using Chris for his body, are we?” 

Yes, well… on the subject of Chris-es...

“I… think I might have feelings for Chris?” Eva blurted out before she could change her mind. 

Noora stared at her, clearly horrified.

“What? _ No! _ You’ve said it yourself, he’s a fuckboy. It is just supposed to be a bit of fun! You _ promised! _”

Oh, yeah. Context.

“Um… not that Chris. Other Chris. _ Our _Chris.”

“Oh. Okay.” Noora blinked. “Yeah, that’s... definitely a much better choice. And what about Chris, does she have feelings for you too?”

This time it was Eva who blinked.

“You’re not surprised?”

“Should I be? I mean, it’s not like I haven’t seen you kiss Vilde multiple times?”

“Yeah, but that’s when I’ve been drunk out of my mind.”

“And now you want to kiss girls when you’re sober too. You know what that is? Growth,” Noora said. She looked thoughtful for a second before dissolving into soft giggles.

“What?” Eva asked, still cautiously filtering the conversation for any signs of Noora being uncomfortable.

“I was just thinking… I mean, you _ do _realise I was flirting with you that first day we talked at school, right?”

“You did _ what _ now?”

“H as in ‘Have you got any plans for Friday’?” Noora reminded her with a self deprecating headshake. “Oh, I thought I was _ so _smooth.”

“Wow, that was… I didn’t…”

“But then I found out about you having a boyfriend, so that put an end to it. And then there was that whole William thing, which…” 

Noora stopped and Eva racked her brain for something to say. Preferably something helpful, which kind of ruled out ‘you can do so much better’, because - well, they both knew that Noora _ could _ do so much better. Just as they both knew that she really didn’t _ want _ to.

They were brought out of their suddenly sombre mood by Eskild’s unannounced entrance and him throwing himself onto Noora’s bed, narrowly missing her left leg.

”You two are talking so quietly a guy can’t even hear you while listening at the door. It’s very inconsiderate, you know.”

”Eskild! Get. Out.” Noora crossed her arms and tried to glare him into submission - which worked just as well as it usually did, i.e. not at all.

”What? I’m just here to hang out with my new best friend, Eva,” Eskild replied innocently. ”Admit it, you’re jealous of our beautiful friendship.”

Eva giggled as Noora groaned and hit him with a pillow.

“Yes, Eskild, that is it. I’m afraid you’ll start scrounging off of Eva instead of me. I’m sure her fish cakes are much nicer anyway.”

“Jeez, I said I was sorry about that and I will replace them at the end of the month, okay?” He turned towards Eva and mouthed, ‘See? _ Dick!! _’ “Anyway, what were you two talking about? Tell daddy all about it.”

Noora groaned again but didn’t comment. Instead she looked over at Eva, waiting to see how she wanted to handle the situation. Eva eyed Eskild warily, debating whether or not to tell him. Which… well, fuck it, really.

“I like girls.”

Eskild’s whole demeanour changed in an instant, all his usual flippancy turning into a display of encouragement and acceptance.

“Wow, that’s… that’s great, Eva!”

“Yeah.” Because yes, it was. Really. But also… “Well, it’s scary too, though. I mean, you might _ think _ you know how people are going to react, but you don’t _ know _ know, you know? 

“Yeah, that’s…” Eskild’s face twisted into a pained grimace. “Let’s just say that my parents didn't have the best reaction. Mum has come around a bit, but… we still have to meet here at Kollektivet or in a café downtown since dad doesn’t want a _ faggot _ influencing his _ normal _ kids.”

Eva walked over to the bed and managed to somehow fit onto it, ending up in a small puppy pile with Eskild in the middle, both her and Noora stroking his arms and back in silent support.

“That’s sad. And fucked up,” she offered after a long pause. Noora hummed in agreement. 

“Yeah, well. It’s not all bad though. I mean, I’ve found a new family in Linn and Noora,” Eskild said, wiping at a couple of tears in an effort to return to his usual cheerful self. “And of course in my grumpy teenage son who’s moved across the city and doesn’t even call his old dad any more.”

“He called you yesterday. And the day before,” Noora muttered but Eskild pointedly ignored her.

“As I said, he doesn’t call anymore. And now I find out I have a lovely, lesbian daughter too. Or… bi daughter? Pan? Anyway, I have this wonderful adopted family and can live my life without having to fulfil some old bigot’s rigid expectations of me.” He tried to shrug, but with two people on top of him he only managed a small, awkward wriggle. “So… coming out might not have ended up the way I wanted, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t end up _ better_.”

Eva took a moment to think about it.

“Well, I don’t think mum will mind. And I know dad won’t care, he’s got this whole new, shiny family now and is doing his best to forget about his old one,” she mused, trying not to sound too bitter about it. “So… yeah, I’d love to be a part of your adopted family, dad.”

“Don’t encourage him,” Noora complained as she blinked rapidly a few times, eyes suspiciously shiny.

“So. Tell daddy about this girl you like, then. Will she make my favourite daughter happy?”

Eva nestled her face into Eskild’s upper arm in an attempt to comfort herself as well as him.

“I think she _ would_,” she mumbled into his jumper. “I’m just not sure she _ will_.”

“Hm?”

“It’s Chris. And no, not that one,” Eva continued quickly, not wanting to have _ that _discussion again. “Chris Berg. You know, the girl you spent most of last year’s neon party hanging out with?”

“Really? Excellent choice, she was amazing. Daddy approves.”

Noora swatted halfheartedly at Eskild.

“One more ‘daddy’ out of you and the shampoo is history,” she warned.

“This is a father-daughter conversation, please refrain from interfering,” he sniffed back, almost propelling her off the bed when he shuffled around to look at Eva. “So what’s with the lack of self-confidence, then? Why aren’t you out there getting it on with your girl? Please don’t tell me Noora’s been rubbing off on you and you’ve gone all prudish on me!”

“There has been no rubbing of anything going on,” Noora protested.

Eskild shook his head in disappointment.

“I know, and that’s the problem right there,” he muttered darkly. 

“Anyway, I don’t know, I just… what if she isn’t interested?” Eva asked, ignoring Eskild’s comment.

“I could always ask her for you if you wa-” Noora tried to offer with a rather unconvincing angelic expression.

“You are _ not _asking her,” Eva cut her off. “I might as well pass her a note in maths class, asking, ‘Do you like me, tick yes or no’. Not. Happening.”

“Of course not, you don’t have maths together,” Noora shrugged, unfazed. “Anyway, maybe you should talk to Vilde or Sana about this? I mean, I love Chris but I don’t know her as well as they do.” She paused. “Or, talk to Isak maybe? He’s the expert here, after all.”

Eskild’s indignant huff went ignored by both girls.

“I talked to Isak yesterday, actually. And Even, of course.”

Noora nodded with an exasperated eye roll.

“Of course. And what did they say?”

“To talk to you. Also, they are very annoying. No one should be that much in love, it’s unnatural.”

“You should try living with them, I still have nightmares,” Noora said with an exaggerated shudder. “Anyway, that leaves Vilde and Sana, then.” She gave Eva a blinding smile, “Well, good luck with that.”

Eva shot her a glum look.

“Yeah, thanks.”

*****

“Um… and what is this for?” Vilde asked, poking suspiciously at the takeaway coffee placed in front of her.

“What, I can’t bring you coffee without an ulterior motive?” 

“No.” 

Right. That was the trouble with having friends, they knew you too well. Eva sighed and looked around the library before sitting down across from Vilde and lowering her voice.

“Fine. I need to talk to you about something, but you must promise not to tell anyone.”

Vilde perked up, gossip detector on high alert.

“Of course I won’t. What is it?”

“It’s… well, you know Chris?”

“Of course I do. You two are so cute togeth... oh my God! Have you had ‘The Talk’? Are you _actually_ together now?? Oh, this is so cool, he’s just the hunkiest! I’m _so_ jealous! Well, not _jealous _jealous, I have Magnus and he’s very hunky too, but… I mean, Chris is a _-97_! And I’ve heard his family is _loaded_. Good job, Eva, I’m really happy for you!”

Eva closed her eyes in despair, she _ definitely _ needed a better way to initiate this subject.

“Yeah, not that Chris. _ Chris _Chris.”

“Yes, of course I know _ Chris_,” Vilde enunciated slowly, giving Eva a look of confused indignation.

Right, so… here goes...

“I… guess I have feelings for her?”

“You do? Really?” Vilde’s eyes widened in surprise. “You and Chris… that’s…” she paused and thought about it for a few seconds before breaking into an exuberant smile. “Wow, but that’s perfect for the bus, isn’t it? I mean, instead of Lizzo we could be Lezzo? Can you or Chris play the flute? Or… nevermind, I know someone who has a flute, that’s close enough. And Lizzo’s all about being yourself and body positivity and stuff, and…”

Eva shook her head at Vilde’s enthusiasm. She really shouldn’t have added extra caffeine to top off the caffeine Vilde had - obviously - already consumed.

“I’m bi, though? And I guess Chris might be too? Or pan. Or… maybe that Gran Canaria-girl was just a one off. Either way, I guess the Lezzo idea is a bit off the mark? And bordering on offensive?”

“Oh. Okay.” Vilde’s face fell - but in true Vilde fashion, she immediately bounced back. “Anyway, with you and Chris and Isak and Even onboard, we’ll be the coolest bus in Oslo!”

Eva considered their Loser van, and… yeah, she was pretty sure it would take a bit more than a couple of rainbows and some same sex loving to raise its coolness factor.

“Of course we will be,” she agreed, trying to sound convinced. “Although I didn’t think Isak was celebrating russ? And Magnus isn’t on the bus with us, is he? I mean… it’s not like there’s much room?”

“Of course Magnus is on the bus with us, he’s _ my boyfriend! _” Vilde exclaimed, sounding scandalised. “And if Magnus is in, then the rest of the boy squad is in. And Even goes wherever Isak goes. So… definitely cool,” she finished, smiling brightly.

“Well, I haven’t talked to Chris yet, so… part of that cool might fall through before it even begins,” Eva pointed out.

“Oh. Right. I… well, I don’t think I’ve heard Chris talk about girls before this week? And definitely not about you. Well, not in a lesbian way, anyway.” Eva tried to avoid rolling her eyes and failed miserably. “So… you don’t think she likes you the way you like her, then? I mean, _ like _ like?”

“I don’t know, Vilde. I was hoping you could tell me.”

Vilde shook her head, eyes round and sincere.

“Noooo,” she said slowly, drawing it out. “But… I’m sure she likes you? I mean, if I was into that lesbian stuff and I didn’t have Magnus, and… well, I’m pretty sure I would have liked you?”

_ Pretty _sure, huh? Yeah, thanks, Vilde, that was some vote of confidence right there.

“That’s… comforting to know,” Eva said, trying hard to maintain a serious expression.

Vilde glanced at Eva before fixing her eyes on the table between them.

“So… did you ever have those kind of feelings for me, too?”

“No, Vilde. Never.”

“Oh.” There was a glimpse of disappointment before Vilde got her expression under control. “Good. I wouldn’t have wanted you to get your hopes up, after all,” she continued with an unconvincing laugh.

Eva felt a sting of guilt, but… it was true, though. Kissing Vilde had always been nice and fun and _ safe_. Kissing Chris on the other hand? Just the thought of it was exciting and scary and... very, _ very _ interesting. And it had bits tingling and paying attention that had _ no _business doing either. At least not in the school library.

“So… she hasn’t talked about me, then?” Eva asked for clarification.

Vilde shook her head, wide eyed.

“Not to me, no. But maybe she’s talked to Sana? You should maybe try asking her?”

“Yeah, maybe.” Eva shot Vilde a teasing grin. “I mean, she’s got that psychic hijab after all.”

“Not funny,” Vilde pouted at her.

“It’s a little bit funny, though,” Eva replied, still grinning.

Vilde shot her a mock annoyed glare. 

“Go bother Sana and leave me and my coffee in peace, thanks,” she grumbled, crossing her arms.

Eva took a deep breath, nodded at Vilde, and went.

*****

“Hi, Sana.”

Sana pulled her feet back, leaving enough space for Eva to climb onto the window sill and get comfortable.

“What do you want?” she asked, eyes narrowed.

“Why do you think I want something,” Eva countered in a poor attempt at stalling for time.

“You’ve got your ‘I want something’ face on. So. What is it?”

“I have an ‘I want something’ face?” Yep. Definitely stalling.

“Yes. So just tell me what it is so I can go back to memorising this stupid Punnett square.”

Fine.

“I want to talk about Chris.”

“Of course you do. What about her?”

“No, not that one, _ our _ Chr… oh.” Eva interrupted herself, since… well, _ that _was new.

Sana rolled her eyes.

“I’m neither blind nor stupid, you know,” she pointed out.

“So… you knew I liked girls?” Eva hazarded, giving Sana’s probably none too psychic hijab a suspicious glare. Sana only shrugged in reply. “Then why didn’t you say something?”

“I just thought you needed time to figure it out on your own?” Sana said with another shrug.

Well, Eva couldn’t really argue with that.

“I guess? I mean, it… is a lot? And kinda scary?”

“Yeah, I get that. Isak talked a bit about it last week, about how we live in one of the most accepting countries in the world, and yet sometimes when he meets a gang of drunk guys at night he wonders if that’s the time he’ll be beaten up.”

Eva dropped her head in her hands.

“Oh great, I hadn’t even thought about things like _ that_. That’s… so fucked up? No, I was actually thinking about you. Well, not _ you _you, just… you-my-friends you?”

Sana stared at her coldly.

“You thought we were homophobic?” she asked, sounding offended.

“Noooo,” Eva moaned in protest, “not, like, _ homophobic_, more like… I don’t know, uncomfortable, maybe?”

“Right. So. Homophobic then.” 

Eva thought about it. 

“No. Definitely not homophobic. Just…” She hesitated. “Well, I guess I was afraid that you’d start distancing yourselves just in case I’d be coming on to you or something?”

“Is that what you would have done if I’d told you _ I _liked girls?”

“What? No! Of course not!”

“So why would you expect less of us?”

Good question.

“Umm… I guess… I mean…”

“Did we treat Isak any different after he came out?”

“No, but… maybe it’s different when it’s a friend?”

“Huh? Are you telling me me and Isak aren’t friends now?”

Eva gave up, not sure what she had been saying in the first place.

“No, of course you two are friends. I just still think it’s different,” she sulked.

“Only because you’re _ making _ it different,” Sana argued. “It’s not like we’re solely friends with Eva Kviig Mohn, ‘heterosexual trademark’, you know? So I guess you’ll just have to get used to us liking you for you, no matter who you love. Even if it _ is _a Chris,” she finished with a teasing smile, dimples on full display.

“Heeeey,” Eva protested, feeling herself relax from Sana’s words. “I like the name Chris, okay? Also, makes it less risky to call out the wrong name in bed.” 

She cackled gleefully at Sana’s disgusted expression.

“I take it back, we don’t like you at all,” Sana deadpanned.

“Sorry, no take backsies. You like me. You really, really like me.”

“We _ tolerate _ you at best.”

“Fine. I’ll take it.” Eva said with a grin. There was a short silence. “Anyway, about Chris…”

Sana tilted her head back towards the wall and fixed Eva with a firm stare.

“Come on, Eva, you can’t be _ that _stupid.”

Well, apparently she could?

“What?”

“Chris has been flirting with you for months now, don’t tell me you haven’t noticed. Hand me your phone.”

“Why?” Eva asked, still processing the first part of Sana’s remark.

“You ask too many questions,” Sana complained as she grabbed Eva’s phone and quickly tapped out a message. “There,” she finished, handing it back.

Eva looked down at the ‘just sent’ message in her chat with Chris. 

**Hi was going to check out the new Munch exhibition and Sana said you’d talked about going too. Friday after school?**

“Wait, what? Chris has talked to you about going to the Munch exhibition? We’re talking about the same Chris here? Because I don’t really see her as a Munch connoisseur. Or an exhibition goer, for that matter.”

Sana shrugged.

“Guess she’s like Shrek that way, then. She’s got layers.”

Eva gave her a suspicious look.

“I don’t doubt the layers, I just doubt that any of those layers are Munch related.”

Their conversation was interrupted by a selfie of Chris giving a thumbs up appearing in the chat. Sana smirked.

“You were saying?”

Eva looked at the photo for another couple of seconds before a thought suddenly hit her.

“Wait a minute. How did you know my password?”

“Shhh,” Sana hissed, suddenly very occupied by her biology book. “I’m studying here, very important, go bother someone else.”

“Hm. Fine.” She could easily find someone else to bother, after all. Or... well, she could easily find someone else to bother _ just as soon as she had changed her phone password. _

*****

“Is it a date? Is it as friends? Is it some kind of no-one-else-wants-to-go-so-I-guess-I-can-stand-you-for-an-hour-or-two thing? What is it, Noora? _ What?? _” Eva whined at her mobile - wishing she’d avoided facetiming Noora when she was met with an elaborate eye roll.

“Jeez, you’re the most dramatic person I know, and I’ve lived with Isak, Even _ and _Eskild,” Noora sighed. “Either it’s a date and you’re going to live happily ever after and annoy us all by being unbearably in love, or it’s a chance for you two youngsters to get to know each other instead of basing your future relationship on sexual chemistry alone.”

“Gee, thanks, mum. And, I mean, it’s not like we haven’t known each other for two years already?”

Noora smirked at her through the phone.

“Exactly. You’ve known each other _for two years_. So why are you so worried?”

Right. She’d walked straight into that one.

“Don’t use logic on me, it’s mean,” she sulked. “Also, logic is overrated anyway.”

“Of course it is,” Noora mocked her.

“Shut up. Why are we friends again?”

“Oh, I ask myself that question every day.”

“Hey, I am very small and vulnerable, please don’t be mean to m… shit, she’s here, ttyl.” 

Eva ended the call, wondering if Noora would ever let her live down actually spelling out ttyl in conversation. Ah, well, _ that _was a problem for future Eva, present Eva had problems enough as it was - and her main one was just skidding up to her on an e-scooter.

“Hi.” 

Eva tried to smile, but had a feeling it came off more like an awkward grimace. Fortunately Chris didn’t seem to notice as she dropped the scooter and bounced up to Eva for a quick hug.

“Okay, these things? Best invention since iced mocha,” she enthused, not even bothering with a greeting. “I was _ so _ close to hit that old harpy from Rosteds Gate - you know, the one who called Even an ‘abomination unto God’ a couple of weeks ago? I had no idea old people could jump that high. Or that far. It was _ amazing!_”

This time Eva’s smile was a lot less awkward, because… well, _ Chris.._.

“You have to aim better next time,” she instructed and was rewarded with a wide grin.

“Oh, I _ will! _ Anyway, shall we go get our Munch on?”

Eva nodded and started towards the entrance, her mind back on the ‘is it or isn’t it a date’ track. Should she maybe pay for both of them since technically she was the one initiating the ‘date’? That is, if it was a date? Also, she’d only initiated it by letting Sana borrow her phone, but… well, she should have been aware of the risks, so... oh, for fuck’s sake, brain!

“Nice t-shirt,” she offered - hoping to distract herself, if only temporarily.

“I know, isn’t it perfect? Thought I’d dress to fit in,” Chris explained as she looked down and pulled at the psychedelic t-shirt version of The Scream she was wearing.

“Oh, it’s very you,” Eva agreed. Because it was. Very in your face and loud, but also warm and funny. And beautiful. Definitely beautifu...

“Hello. Just the two of you?”

Oh. Right. So they’d arrived the front of the queue and she still hadn't figured out if it was a date? Okay. That was… fine. Really. Fine. Fine, fine, fine.

“Um. Yeah. Hi. Us two, yeah.”

“Students?”

“Yeah. Nissen. Third year.” Not that the woman manning the till was interested, Eva chastised herself with an internal eye roll. Good thing she hadn’t started reciting her subjects too. How people still let her out in public was a miracle.

“Third year, hm? So. Seventeen? Eighteen?”

“Oh, we’re both eighteen. Chris even has her driver’s license.” Oh, God, stop talking…

“Right, so… you’re both _still_ _seventeen_ then,” the woman said slowly, giving Eva a meaningful look.

“No, we’re def-”

“Yeah. Seventeen. We’re definitely seventeen,” Chris cut in, nodding emphatically. 

Eva turned to Chris, about to ask what was going on - but Chris was too busy grinning at the woman to notice. Eva gave up.

“Fine. We’re seventeen, then.”

“Right. And since you’re under eighteen that means you get in for free. And I, too, like the shirt, by the way,” the woman said with a smile and a wink before turning towards the next person in the queue. 

Eva almost forgot to throw a word of thanks over her shoulder as a giggling Chris grabbed her hand and dragged her into the first exhibition room.

“Well, that was… unexpected?” Eva observed, trying to drown out her brain’s persistent chant of ‘hand holding, hand holding, _ hand holding_’.

“Nice of her, though,” Chris replied as she pulled Eva towards a wall covered in more or less detailed art. “Anyway, don’t you think that guy looks like Isak?” Eva looked at the raw pencil sketch, and… yeah, it definitely resembled a very grumpy Isak Valtersen. “And over there is Jonas,” Chris continued, pointing to a sketch of a boy with very unruly hair, which… yeah, also true.

After that, they giggled their way through more of the art, deciding that they had definitely spotted both Noora, Elias, and the couch at Kollektivet.

“And that’s Eazy E right there,” Eva exclaimed, pointing at a nude in blue crayon.

Chris tilted her head slightly to the right in consideration.

“So… is the difference between Vigeland and Munch their interest in dicks?” she mused.

“Um. What?”

“Well, you can’t really walk around the Vigeland Park without a dick poking you in the eye, while poor Eskild over there is completely dickless. So. Is that the big difference between them? Dicks?”

This profound art discussion was interrupted by an annoyed cough from behind and they decided that they had had enough of the sketches for now.

“See. Still no dicks,” Chris whispered when they entered the next room where huge, colourful portraits were spread over the walls.

“Maybe we haven’t reached the dick room yet?” Eva whispered back with a small giggle.

“Well, we better find a dick or a nice boob soon, these portraits are wearing too many clothes and I’m easily bored.”

Apparently the person with a cough had followed them into the new room and were still not happy with the way their conversation was going.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Chris complained and dragged Eva towards the next exhibition room, which…

“Wow.” 

Chris hummed in acknowledgement, because… yes, wow.

“That’s… wow.” It was rare that Eva was speechless, but… _ wow _.

“I wonder if you can get _ that _printed on a t-shirt?” Chris mused. 

“I wonder if they have a replica of it in the museum shop?”

“She looks a bit like you, don’t you think?”

Eva temporarily forgot how to breathe, because… well, _ that _ was definitely flirting, right? _ Right??_

“Darker hair and less clothes, though,” she replied, just for something to say.

“Mmhm. Well, I think we’ve finally found the boob room,” Chris agreed, still mesmerised by the painting.

Eva hesitated, pretty sure she was seconds from throwing up from nerves, but… this was _ it_, wasn’t it?

“And… you don’t want to go find the dick room?” she mumbled, both wanting and not wanting Chris to understand what she was really asking.

“Nah. I’m quite happy with the boob room right now. It’s definitely got everything I want,” Chris replied, meeting Eva’s eyes, expression uncharacteristically serious. 

“Um. Yeah, me too.” 

Wow, had they just… kinda said that they were into each other’s boobs? Or was Chris just talking about boobs in general? Because Eva had a pair of very particular boobs in mind, and it sounded like Chris did too, and she _ had _said that Eva looked like the Madonna - which… 

She was vaguely aware that she was being pulled across the room to where a small queue was formed - but her mind was still very much stuck on over analysing the situation and had no room left for spatial awareness.

“Eva?” 

“Hm?”

“Eva! Look!”

Eva looked up to see Chris standing in front of The Scream - hands on cheeks and mouth open in what probably was supposed to be agony but mostly brought to mind a case of surprised constipation. Right. That was… She tried hard not to think about what she was about to do. Although thinking about not thinking had her thinking, which… Really? _ This _was the time her brain decided to butt in?

Chris was laughing hard by now, making the people around her smile indulgently at her. Eva counted to five. And then she counted to five again, just to make sure she counted correctly the first time, because... oh, God… 

She took a quick step towards Chris, closed her eyes, and... there was a surprised ‘mmph’, but Chris seemed to grasp her intention pretty damn quick, twining her fingers into Eva’s hair as she bent her knees a little and tilted her head to better align their lips. 

The kiss was over in a couple of seconds, and… well, it wasn’t her best kiss, okay? It wasn’t even her best _ first _ kiss. But opening her eyes to Chris smiling that easy, incorrigible, so very _ Chris _smile at her? That part? Definitely a contender.

“_About_ _time!_” Chris informed her, positively radiating happiness. “Jeez, woman, I’ve been trying to flirt with you for, like, _months_.”

Eva’s expression was just as blissed out as Chris’s.

“Well, you could have been a bit clearer on that,” she complained, aiming for grumpy but smiling much too hard to come even close.

Chris sniggered.

“The only way I could have been any more obvious was if I’d tried to hump you during PE,” she pointed out.

Okay, so… fine, in hindsight it might have been a bit more obvious than Eva had originally thought. Still…

“Well, neither Noora nor Vilde picked up on it either,” she sulked. “Sana was the only one who had a clue, but…” she shrugged her shoulders in a ‘well, that’s Sana for you’ way.

“Oh, I _ knew _you’d talked to Sana. This whole Munch expedition, it was her idea, wasn’t it? Probably to punish me for not taking her advice in the first place.”

”You never talked to Sana about the Munch exhibition, did you,” Eva realised. “Layers, my arse!”

“I did talk to her, just not about Munch,” Chris said, wisely ignoring the layers comment. “She told me I was an idiot and that I should just ‘woman up and ask you out’.”

“Right. Well, apparently she’d learned from her mistakes. She told _ me _not to be stupid, and then she texted you from my phone. So I guess this whole Munch thing is a punishment for both of us, really.”

They looked at each other.

“So… coffee?” Chris suggested, apparently eager to cut their cultural experience short.

“Coffee,” Eva agreed, feeling all cultured out herself. Although they were definitely taking the scenic route through the museum shop to look for a replica of the Madonna painting because of reasons.

“So… it’s a date, then,” Chris grinned, leaning in for a quick peck.

Eva nodded, grinning back.

“Yeah. It’s a date.” 

There was another annoyed cough from behind and Chris rolled her eyes before taking Eva’s hand and walking off towards the exit. 

Eva smiled to herself. Well, at least this time she _knew _it was a date. Which, as Noora would put it - growth...


End file.
